Summer Progresses

Five loads of hay have been hauled. Seven more to go in September when a couple of brothers do their second cut and bale some squares. They also deliver!

 The hay storage now has 115 bales in it. I should be able to pack 120 in the other side. The balance will go on skids in front and under tarp. For the life of me, I can't figure out why hay producers just lay the bottom course of a pile on the ground! It causes the bales to wick moisture up, and in short time the bottom course is good only for cows, maybe. Companies here can't get rid of their skids and they make an ideal platform to get the hay off the ground. The skids are also free!

 The horses have now been moved back to the upper pasture. Hopefully, I will get 3 to 4 weeks out of the field, and several back in the lower before the snow comes.

 This sweet little 102 pound darling looks pretty good before brushing.

 She looks much the same after brushing, except for the pile of hair in front of her. I get this much off every second day, and haven't got down to dog yet.

In this part of the country we get to miss quite a few summers, but never get the chance to miss a winter. Perhaps Brooklyn knows that this will likely be a cold winter. She is sure hanging onto the insulation. The general opinion around the coffee shop, you know, the Good Old Boys club, is that with the crappy summer, we will likely have a crappy winter. Don't you just love optimism?

The old timers are starting to nod when I come in, so maybe I am about to be assimilated. Now that is a scary thought! I am way to young to be an official member!

The raspberries are done! Family and friends picked about 30 pounds and the remaining 20 pounds or so got knocked off in a heavy rain and hail storm.

A Little Gardening History

1957: BBC fools the nation
The BBC has received a mixed reaction to a spoof documentary broadcast this evening about spaghetti crops in Switzerland.
The hoax Panorama programme, narrated by distinguished broadcaster Richard Dimbleby, featured a family from Ticino in Switzerland carrying out their annual spaghetti harvest.

It showed women carefully plucking strands of spaghetti from a tree and laying them in the sun to dry.

But some viewers failed to see the funny side of the broadcast and criticized the BBC for airing the item on what is supposed to be a serious factual programme.

Others, however, were so intrigued they wanted to find out where they could purchase their very own spaghetti bush.

Exotic delicacy

Spaghetti is not a widely-eaten food in the UK and is considered by many as an exotic delicacy.

Mr Dimbleby explained how each year the end of March is a very anxious time for Spaghetti harvesters all over Europe as severe frost can impair the flavour of the spaghetti.

He also explained how each strand of spaghetti always grows to the same length thanks to years of hard work by generations of growers.

This is believed to be one of the first times the medium of television has been used to stage an April Fools Day hoax.

How can so many people be so foolish  as to believe this?

Everybody knows that spaghetti does not grow on bushes.
Lasagna does! :-}

Wikipedia

Waiting it Out!

After waiting since summer, I finally got my call to go into the MRI machine at the Royal Alex Hospital in Edmonton. The machine "ate" me for 25 minutes while they formed pictures of the inner workings of my lower back.

For quite some time now, my legs have been going to sleep when I'm sitting, standing or walking, to the point where I would be stumbling around like I was under the influence of something (Not so). Then came the knock downs as a nerve in my right leg got pinched, or unpinched. The ability to lift 50 pounds (dog food or salt blocks, or salt for the water softener) became difficult causing a few set downs before they got to where they were supposed to be.

The local Doc said it's from age deterioration (note: not OLD age). I am 30 years old with 39 years experience at being 30 years old.

Anyway, I managed to talk a Doc into putting a cast on my hand in such a manner that I could still hold the reins and ride. The challenge here if they elect to do an L4/L5 bone fusion is to get them to take out the old disc and replace it with one 3 1/2 inches thick to make up for the loss of height over the last few years. I prefer being 6"1" rather than 5"10 1/2". I can be persuasive when I have to be.

Riding feels pretty good on the back, relaxing, and the Doc did not mention stopping riding. To be fair, I did not ask him either.

It will likely be 6 months, going by past experience, before I get to see the neurosurgeon. A lot can happen in 6 months!

Of all this some good could come of it yet!  6" 1" again!  Currently, I am beginning to feel vertically challenged!

I am sure to get some comments from nurses out there, but be warned, I am a difficult patient! Ask Elaine about the Man Colds I get. :-}}

ps. The Doc doesn't feel that the condition is horse related.

Dancing, Acreage style

OK, if you want to dance, I am bigger so  I get to lead.

 That's it, you are getting it

Sway a bit to the left. Good!

 Come on, pay attention! Never mind those other two.

Much better!

 You've got the steps, let's do it again!

2011....The End

Happy New Year Everybody!

I Like It!

Somewhere, from Somebody, I picked this up!

A Not-so-humble Valedictorian Speech

As the school year draws to a close, high school valedictorians are giving their inspirational speeches at graduation ceremonies across the country. But beneath their generous words of humility, I can’t help wondering if there lurks the desire to give a less than modest speech .......
Ladies and Gentlemen, Principal Payne, Teachers, Parents, My Fellow Students and their Parole Officers:


The school year has now concluded. To all my classmates who entered 12th grade (again) this year, you have certainly left a lasting impression on your teachers. I, on the other hand, have excelled in all academic areas.


Throughout the year, while most of you were vanquishing imaginary foes on your computer screens, I devoted my days to study and it has paid off. Soon, I will commence my Ph.D. at a top Ivy League college; you, however, are destined to become proficient at asking the question: "Paper or plastic, Ma’am?"


Let’s begin with the football jocks. While you were on the field practicing for a life-time of head and spinal injuries, I started a Day Trading Club in the computer center and made my first million before your coach could scream "torn rotator cuff." And while the rest of you were either cheerleading or boozing at post-game celebrations, I was dazzling the national Mathematics Association by quietly solving the square root of negative one.


Speaking of math, many of you emailed me throughout the year for help; but despite my best efforts, I soon realized the futility. I mean, how can you help people who fail to comprehend that integration has nothing to do with race relations; that the unit conversion of feet into centipedes is impossible; or that pumpkin pie has no relevance in geometry?


Another highlight for me was Economics Class, where I received the school’s competitive and highly coveted Madoff Prize for the assigned essay, "A History of Pyramid Schemes." Many of you who also entered a paper were jealous of my success, but were clearly foolish to follow my advice and focus your discussion on Egyptology. In all honesty, I believe most of you failed to grasp any of the fundamental course concepts, and wasted far too much time swapping baseball hats after that class on Cap-and-Trade principles.


Since my talents also extended to the Arts, I feel obliged to mention that the music director was especially impressed when I suggested introducing the concert harp to the school band. I should like to acknowledge little Abby Smith who marched with her harp as we played Wagner’s complete Ring Cycle during the 14-hour extended half-time at the homecoming game. Although the hernia and collapsed lung were regrettable, I understand she finishes physical therapy soon and is looking forward to completing 12th grade next year.


As for our other teachers, they have learned much from me, as well. Mr. Epstein-Barr, the soccer coach and physics teacher, now has a better understanding of quantum mechanics and no longer uses terms such as Schrödinger’s Ketchup, Einstein’s theory of evolution, walking the Planck Constant, or the Big Bangs Theory of hairdressing.


I also recall the brief battle of wits I had with our philosophy teacher during the first day of class, after telling him how I named our Jack Russell terrier, Bertrand, when I was just 5 years old. Unimpressed, he informed me "you are arrogant and a nobody," to which I promptly retorted: "Nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect." Disappearing in a puff of logic, he immediately retired and now hangs around toy stores assuring kids that Plato is not modeling clay. I was happy to lead the class for the remainder of the semester.


Finally, let me say that, aside from knowing all of you, my main disappointment this year was failing to become class president. At first, this stunned me, because I had pledged an exciting visit to the New York Stock Exchange for our senior trip, rather than that tedious Caribbean cruise the rest of you eventually took.


However, I was not surprised that Harry Thistlewaite was elected instead. After all, he did make promises that were impossible to keep, distorted the truth, and fabricated a collection of fallacious stories about his abilities and competence. Along these lines, I expect he will excel should he attempt to break into state politics.


Thank you, and don’t keep in touch.


Nick Thomas is a freelance writer. He has written features for the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, San Francisco Chronicle, and the Christian Science Monitor. He can be reached at www.along-these-lines.com

From My Very Old files

'Nuff said!

The Cackling of Geese...Why They do It

It’s a sure sign that winter is approaching. The flocks of geese are becoming less and less, meaning that the majority have left  Dodge for the warmer south.

The classic “V” formation is a wonderful sight and an aerodynamic marvel

As normal though, the Ganders are in the lead setting the pace and doing most of the hard work. Not to be outdone, the hens are in the back cackling up a storm.

“George, you’re off course”

“George, speed up, all the good condos will be taken at this pace”

“George, lets go down in that field. Junior needs to go potty”

“George, why have you got ear muffs on?”

“George.....”

Men's Shelter IV, A Good Day's Work

 The work day started at 9:00 am and ended at 5:00. By 1:30, all the roof trusses and gable end were in place. Our picker truck operator was first class and had the touch! The 60 foot span trusses went in slick as a whistle.

 This is the first truss going into place.

I have to digress a bit here and relate an event that happened the other day. The contractor had a newbie from Grade 12, getting some work experience. Anyway, the two apprentices sent him into the construction trailer for a couple of sky hooks. This is sort of a right of passage, newbies picking on other newbies. Anyway, after a half hour in a very small trailer, he reported that he could not find any sky hooks. The laughter then started.

 The gable wall was set into position and the remaining trusses installed.

The last couple of trusses will be tied in after the fire wall is gyp-rocked and moved out to give the necessary 1 inch air gap. Part of the roof was sheathed and another work party is scheduled for 10:00 am Saturday.

Scenes Around the Acreage

 The water cannon at work chasing away a neighbour's cat. The motion sensor works well.

 Our three horses looking for handouts.

Peony in bloom.

A sleepy Alpine

 The chicken sauna all fired up and ready to go. Over the last few days 26 chickens have felt its warmth and are now residing in Hotel Kenmore.

This little guy is a slow learner. I've had to rescue him three times from our pond. Maybe he just likes the attention!

The Ant and the Grasshopper

THE CLASSIC  VERSION:  The ant works hard in the withering  Heat all summer long, building his  House and laying up supplies for the  Winter. The grasshopper thinks  he's a fool, and laughs and dances  And plays the summer away.  Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.  THE CANADIAN  VERSION:  The ant works hard in the withering  Heat all summer long, building his  House and laying up supplies for the  Winter. The grasshopper thinks  he's a fool, and laughs and dances and  Plays the summer away.  Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  So far, so good, he?  The shivering grasshopper calls a press    Conference and demands to know why  The ant should be allowed to be warm    And well fed while others less fortunate,  Like him, are cold and  starving.  The CBC shows up to provide live  Coverage of the shivering  grasshopper,  With cuts to a video of the ant in his  Comfortable warm home with a  Table laden with food. Canadians are stunned  That in a country of such wealth, this poor  Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while  Others have plenty.  The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition  Against Poverty demonstrate in front  Of the ant's house. The CBC,  Interrupting an Inuit cultural festival  Special from Nunavut with  breaking  News, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."  Jack Layton grants in an interview with  Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten rich off the  Backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax  Hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".  In response to polls, the  Liberal  Government drafts the Economic  Equity and Grasshopper  Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.  The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he  Is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.  Without enough money to pay both the  Fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes,  his home  Is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the  US and starts a successful agribiz company.  The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing  Up the last of the ant's food, though spring is still months    Away, while the government house he is in, which just  Happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him  Because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate  Government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to  Head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.  The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto  Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address  The root causes of despair arising from social inequity.  The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,  Praised by the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural  Diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and  Terrorize the community.  THE END

Gasoline and Oil Prices

A friend forwarded this rational to me. Somehow, it makes sense, sort of. As an oil producing country,why are we paying more than we should? This may be the reason!

Garfield on the oil crisis A lot of folks can't understand how we came  to have an oil shortage here in Canada .  Well, there's a very simple answer, Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.  The reason for this is purely geographical.  Our Oil is located in: ALBERTA SASKATCHEWAN BRITISH COLUMBIA MANITOBA COASTAL NEW BRUNSWICK COASTAL  NEWFOUNDLAND   Our DIPSTICKS are  located  in  OTTAWA Any Questions ???  NO ?...  Didn't think so.

Rest Day!

After the previous week and a half, I declared a rest day. This can be seen in Brooklynn for one. She got herself worn out watching all the shenanigans going on with the Well Technician, the steamer truck, and all the work going on trying to keep the horses, chickens, dogs and us all watered.

It is amazing what we take for granted! You turn the tap on, you get water. You flush, water is taken away. After a week with neither water, or unlimited flushing. we got to realize just how lucky we are. Going back to "early primitive" I found it to be a full time job just getting water for all the critters, in a form that was usable.

We don't pamper our horses with a barn, heated stalls or things like that. One of our dogs, Boots, will not drink water from a tap in a bowl, but prefers to eat snow. Yep, even at -40 C . The rest of us like warm water. This gave us a look at what it must have been like in pioneer days, in the dead of winter trying to survive until spring, when a harvest could be planted. My ancestors showed up in Canada from England, had a crop failure and barely made it. Their homestead was never registered as they didn't make the first year let alone the three years required. We still had heat, so did not have to spend a whole bunch of time cutting and hauling firewood. We are truly blessed in these days. We figured we did good at -30C, surviving a week with no water and a few days with a frozen sewer line.
Life as a horse is much simpler. Give them food, give them water and they can make it. The cold made them go into hibernation mode, sort of. Don't move, huddle up and conserve energy.

The Canada Weather office is forecasting another month of severe cold, but I don't agree with them. I have one dog shedding hair, two horses shedding hair, so what do they know that we don't? I will take a horse prediction of spring over whatever a mere rodent can predict. After all, gophers are just slightly smarter than wheat. We shall see.

The last two days have been spent doing the bare minimum as far as acreage work goes, and a lot of time sleeping, 12 hours the first day and 10 the second. The activity also caused a weight loss of 8 pounds over the week. The balance of the awake time was spent mostly eating.

Come warmer weather, I will likely be replacing the water well pump. The controller failed, not the pump, but the well tech guy says it is due to failure as it's life of 14 years is getting up there for a hard water service. I also see some changes that need to be made in the sewer lines, such as clean-outs that are pointed the right way, and a proper "Y" drop leg to the underground part.

Some day, about 10 years out, we will look back and think "Remember the Good Old Times on The Acreage?" You betcha!

It Never Stops!

Caution! Work related graphics below! Please use caution. It may not be suitable for all audiences. Parental Guidance recommended!

Stimulus Package

This was sent to me by a friend who is a better economist than I am!

 Governments of all level are always talking about and promoting “Stimulus Packages”. Most people do not know how a “stimulus package” works, so outlined below is a good example.

 

It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle and  streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and  everybody is living on credit.       A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and  lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms  upstairs to pick one for the night.     As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs  next door to pay his debt to the butcher.       The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt  to the pig farmer.     The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his  supplier, the Co-op.     The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the  local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to  offer her "services" on credit.     The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel  owner.      The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.     At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms  are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.     No one produced anything. No one earned anything... However, the whole  town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more  optimism.     And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a "stimulus package" works.

Looking for a Handyman?

I just don't understand my wife. She's always nagging me to keep things around

the house fixed up..........

                 I replaced the broken door latch on her car.

I fixed the sagging kitchen cabinets.

I installed new faucets in the kitchen sink.

I replaced the rotten steps by the front door.

She wanted a Porta-Potty" for when we went camping.

She wanted more privacy in the bathroom.

I fixed everything she wanted.......  And still, she isn't happy....!

PS If anyone needs my help with any home improvements call me, I'm your man.
If I survive the next 24 hours, that is!

Can You Believe it?

 A really funny thing happened to me after church today. It was our churches 50th anniversary and of course there was the famous church "Pot Luck"! Our Pastor was calling up people to go to the serving line with some sort of system. He called all the seniors to go up first. So, I got up and went into line. A group of young teenagers was standing around and this cute 16 year old came up to me and said that I couldn't get into line as Iwasn't a senior! She was all smiles , but intent on preventing me from getting my victuals.

So, I politely said that I qualified. Well, as she was still looking puzzled, I pulled out my wallet and showed my driver's licence. I asked her how old did she think I was. To which, she responded "28". So, I said "physically, not mentally" and showed her the date.

I was allowed to continue with the food line.

Now, not to rub it in, but, when was the last time you were "carded"? Needless to say, she is now one of my favourite 16 year olds in the church!

Sorry for the reposting to the comments. Google is giving me a hassle on posting comments. This is a poor man's work-around.

   Gregg is at http://gospeldrivendisciples.blogspot.com/
Amanda is at http://www.farmgirlwrites.com/

What is This?

It's not a rubber balloon filled with water!
It's not a kids toy!




It's not a light bulb!








It looks like a rubber balloon. It feels like a rubber balloon, but it's not!

Give up?

Einstein

Some anecdotes about Albert Einstein.... .. honoured by Time magazine as the Man of the Century

One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein's driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver's uniform.

Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult
question by a member of the audience. "Well, the answer to that question is quite simple," he casually replied. "I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it..."

============ ========= =========
Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit."Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"
============ ========= =========
Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity.

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"
============ ========= =========
When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was

going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not

recognize him. Einstein asked the driver if he knew Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows. Do you want to meet him?" Einstein replied, "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him.
============ ========= =========

Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached into his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached into his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked into his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it."

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle

punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, '"r. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one."

Einstein looked at him and said,

"Young man, I too, know who I am.

What I don't know is where I'm going.''

Signs You Are No Longer a Kid

How many of these apply to you?

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.

You call Olan Mills before they call you.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You make an appointment to see the dentist.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

Neighbors borrow your tools

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"

You answer a question with, "because I said so!"

You send money to PBS.

The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You know what the word "equity" means.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You can go bowling without drinking.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.