The Ant and the Grasshopper

THE CLASSIC  VERSION:  The ant works hard in the withering  Heat all summer long, building his  House and laying up supplies for the  Winter. The grasshopper thinks  he's a fool, and laughs and dances  And plays the summer away.  Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.  THE CANADIAN  VERSION:  The ant works hard in the withering  Heat all summer long, building his  House and laying up supplies for the  Winter. The grasshopper thinks  he's a fool, and laughs and dances and  Plays the summer away.  Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  So far, so good, he?  The shivering grasshopper calls a press    Conference and demands to know why  The ant should be allowed to be warm    And well fed while others less fortunate,  Like him, are cold and  starving.  The CBC shows up to provide live  Coverage of the shivering  grasshopper,  With cuts to a video of the ant in his  Comfortable warm home with a  Table laden with food. Canadians are stunned  That in a country of such wealth, this poor  Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while  Others have plenty.  The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition  Against Poverty demonstrate in front  Of the ant's house. The CBC,  Interrupting an Inuit cultural festival  Special from Nunavut with  breaking  News, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."  Jack Layton grants in an interview with  Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten rich off the  Backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax  Hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".  In response to polls, the  Liberal  Government drafts the Economic  Equity and Grasshopper  Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.  The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he  Is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.  Without enough money to pay both the  Fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes,  his home  Is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the  US and starts a successful agribiz company.  The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing  Up the last of the ant's food, though spring is still months    Away, while the government house he is in, which just  Happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him  Because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate  Government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to  Head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.  The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto  Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address  The root causes of despair arising from social inequity.  The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,  Praised by the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural  Diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and  Terrorize the community.  THE END