Murphy's law:

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."

The well-known statement of Murphy's Law turns out to be a corruption of its original formulation: "If there's a wrong way to do a thing, somebody will find it and do it that way."

Murphy's Second Law

If things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

Chisholm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:

When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.

Ehrman's Commentary:

1. Things will get worse before they get better.

2. Who said things would get better?

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

He who hesitates is probably right.

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

When you drop coins, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the others will roll out of sight.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Interchangeable parts won't.

On a bicycle, no matter which way you wish to go, it's uphill and against the wind.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have yet to reach their level of incompetence.

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.

When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be illegible.

The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.